I treaded my way to the bathroom and almost scared myself. I am the definition of a hot mess.
It’s noon and I still haven’t done my hair, makeup, or changed out of my pj’s.
In fact, I have yet to brush my teeth.
Some may look at me and think I have just lost it and sunk into a depression. In reality, it’s just my way of dealing with my husband being gone.
My routine has been messed up and my best friend, my everyday partner, is now on the other side of the world: and I’m a hot mess.
Not every day is like this, trust me. Some days I spend all day out of the house, running errands and keeping myself occupied. But, then there’s days like today.
Where I would give anything to have him walk through the front door and give me a big hug.
I even miss the bathroom light being on while he is getting ready, even though I complained every time.
On occasion, I’m so tempted to stay in bed the entire day and watch Hulu. Other days I want to work out so I am in the best shape possible for when he gets home.
This is just the reality of when your husband is gone. You are a time bomb of emotions and sometimes you just need to eat pizza for breakfast and have chocolate for dinner.
Just know you are not alone, as so many military spouses feel the similar need to just be 'bumming it'. While a long distance separation like this can bring you down, there is so many positive things that I, and other milspouses, have learned.
I feel like during this deployment I learned so much about myself. I feel like I grew as a person. I learned more about who I am, what I want, and a little about what makes me tick. If you are currently going through a deployment, use this time to better yourself and to learn about yourself. - excerpt from Singing Through the Rain
I am just sharing the reality of the situation. I don't want to sugarcoat anything because it does stink big time.
I am grateful I have some family and friends around me, but I find myself just needing my alone time and wishing he was here.
It's been a few months now, and I thought I was better at dealing with this, since we already went through a long deployment. But really, how can you ever get used to spending time away from your husband?
What are some realities of your husband being gone?
These songs are affiliate linked, which means if you purchase them, I will receive a small compensation for them. Thank you for supporting The Strattons!
When we first started dating, James and I grew a steady connection through our love for music. Over time, especially during the deployment, we would share different music and develop a love for songs that mean a lot to us. I have found some great songs that helped me personally get through the deployment. (Sometimes it is okay to be sad and cry it out!).
While I know everyone has different taste in music, I think these are great songs to listen to whether you are feeling down and missing him, or if you just want to escape the outside world for a little bit.
5. Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift & Civil Wars
6. I Will Wait by Mumford & Sons
7. The World at Large by Modest Mouse
8. Travelin' Soldier by Dixie Chicks
9. Coming Home by Skylar Grey
10. Home by Chris Daughtry
11. See You Again by Carrie Underwood
Deployment High & Lows.
Let’s be real there are more lows than highs, but let’s try and stay positive around here! Deployments take a ton of adjustment, especially if you are a newlywed, heck even a seasoned, military wife.
High: New Experiences. This is on both ends, as your husband is now in a new place and seeing new things. What other opportunity would they get to go to Japan or Germany? Look at this as a positive, because they get to see different places. (I realize there are deployments that are in less beautiful places, but a new place is a new place, make the most of it!)
Low: Time Difference. This can be a 7 hour time difference, or a 13 hour. However much of a difference is, it sucks. It will end with one of you losing some sleep time and your sanity, so try and work out the best schedule for your situation and try and plan out your days accordingly. I like to watch TV late at night to help keep my awake to talk to him.
High: New Responsibilities. I definitely saw this as a low, when first starting out but here me out on this one. You have new responsibilities on the home front and the opportunity to grow more as an independent individual. I definitely needed this kick in the butt, because I’m the most dependent person Haha. Having him gone, made me step up my game and take on these new responsibilities with a sense of accomplishment and it will feel good once you start getting a hang of it.
Low: Assuming the worst. When you don’t hear from them or get a text back for several hours, your first thought is no longer ‘oh they are probably just busy with work’… You now tend to assume the worst is going on and fear their safety is at risk. This is a huge low for me as I get very anxious if he doesn’t reply at the ‘usual’ times I’d expect. Just take a deep breath and don’t think about it. Insist that they are just at work or sleeping, it will be the best for your mind and sanity!
High: Finding New Hobbies. When he left, I didn’t realize how many hobbies are really out there! Hobbies are not only great at consuming your time, but you find new and hidden talents you didn’t know you had. Some wives have even discovered new hobbies and made them into businesses, so the skies the limit.
Low: No personal contact. Don’t think a military wife would forget about that empty bed, no hugs, and no kisses. It’s absolutely dreadful, and it is hard turning this one positive! It is true with the longer the wait, the sweeter the kiss… Although, going without intimacy is easier said than done and no one understands patience on this like a military spouse.
I think any military spouse can tell you: deployments suck, plain and simple. Not only does it take a toll on you emotionally, but physically too. I love having things around my home to serve as daily reminders and encouragement while my husband is gone. Whether your significant other is deployed, overseas, or in training for the military; here are 3 ways you can remember him in your home.
Photo via @hollynmerritt
1. Kisses Jar
I learned this from the sweetest family back in High School, actually around the time I first met James, and I fell in love with this idea! You get a jar and put however many days until your husband is back home, and put that many kisses in there. I love this idea and did it for James' first deployment and now for this overseas thing he is doing. I found the cutest hershey's kisses at Wal-Mart and I had to have them! (Also, they are on sale and I got them for 70 cents!)
2. Year Round Tree
Now this one is a little bit out there, but after seeing other people having a year round tree, I thought this would be a great way to remember my husband! With the military, some members are gone for the majority of the year, so we are left coping and going through the holidays alone. I was kindly sent a Christmas tree from Tree Classics, and it is so beautiful! Since it is the summertime, and Fourth of July just occurred, I did this season patriotic themed. I love that the tree is white, giving me more of a blank canvas to work on and decorate. I love and chose this particular style because of the glitter!
I bought my decorations from Wal-Mart and Hobby Lobby. I decided I wanted the main focus to be the pictures I hung and it is a great daily reminder of my sweet husband.
3. Deployment Wall
I have seen so many families do a deployment wall, and I think it's the sweetest idea ever! Since I don't have kids, I did my own little version of it, and I keep my kisses jar and my DIY flag nearby. I am keeping it a bit more simple since I do have my giant tree right next to this, and I think it all balances perfectly. I think keeping countdowns is a great way to stay strong, since you are looking forward to eating a kiss and marking down the days. I like keeping a chalkboard and chalkboard markers here and letting my little sister write the numbers, because she gets a kick out of it haha.
If you are looking for more inspiration, Emily Simmons is such a strong military spouse and mother of two (she's expecting!!) She made the cutest deployment wall for her and her little girl to enjoy. I love the idea of keeping the two time zones and a little mailbox for her husband.
Special thanks again to Tree Classics for providing me with this beautiful tree. I am so grateful they reached out to me, as they are supporters of the military community and families.
To all those going through a deployment, or any sort of long distance relationship, I hope to give you strength and motivation through this post. You are so strong, and just take one day at a time! I'd love to know down below, have you ever put something up in your home to remember your husband? I'd love to hear your ideas and tips. Thank you so much for reading!
First things first: Happy Fourth of July! Next to Christmas, this is probably my favorite holiday. I love the whole atmosphere of the Fourth, with fireworks, parades, and flags being flown everywhere. I have such pride for our country and such love knowing how many people have fought, and are fighting, for our freedom. I love how this time of the year brings family and friends close together, all celebrating our country's independence day. I wanted to post today about a very cute DIY you and your family can make together to hang proudly in your home. I have seen this flag DIY floating around Pinterest and wanted to try it out for myself!
What you need:
-Glue-all (works on wood & crafts, hot glue gun would probably work better!)
-Wooden Dowel (I couldn't find the perfect length, so I glued two smaller ones together)
Everything I bought at Wal-Mart, because as you might know, it's my favorite place to shop! No, this isn't sponsored, if you have ever read my blog you'd know my love for this store haha. also, my entire outfit in this post is from Wal-Mart, just in case you were wondering. The ribbon costs varied from $1-$4. I would suggest not buying the pom pom ribbon, as adorable as it is, from here because it only ended up giving me one strand for this entire project!
this DIY is so simple, my little sister was even helping me on it! We just started with the red ribbon and would put the glue down, lay the ribbon on the wooden dowel, and press down firmly.
To make less of a mess, I used the glue bottle to press down, which was great for the lace ribbon strips. I wanted them all to be slightly different lengths so I just sort of eyeballed the measurements. Also, how cute is that star ribbon? ($1 at Wal-Mart!)
I then just cut a rectangle out of the blue bandanna. The bandanna had fold lines in it, so I just cut along that!
Lastly, I attached some twine so I can hang the flag on the wall. I love how it looks and adds in a more rustic feel.
Happy Fourth of July + thanks for reading!
If you end up doing this DIY, PLEASE tag me in it on Instagram @thestrattons! I would love to see your recreation of it. Also, if you'd like to see my inspiration, follow me on Pinterest and check them out too!
Thank you for stopping by The Strattons blog! This is where I share snippets of my life as a new mom to be, beauty + fashion lover, and overall lover of life's tender mercies!