I am 10 days away from my due date, and I am a whole ball of emotions. I am excited, scared, ready, nervous, overjoyed all in one. Creating and carrying life these past 9 months has been the biggest blessing I could have ever been able to experience. I have loved pregnancy, but I know I am going to love motherhood even more.
I have dreamed of becoming a mother for years now. If you read my first post about us trying to conceive, you'll know that we prayed for this journey for a bit now. We put off trying for a year until we were stable financially, then it took us an entire year to earn the title of parents. Now that the time has come, I couldn't have imagined a more perfect time for this calling. I feel like that waiting time taught me so much patience, but also gratitude for every little ache and pain I experience.
This pregnancy I've been extremely blessed. Not just because of the little pregnancy symptoms, but because of the blessings that accompanied. My husband and I are closer than ever and seeing his excitement over our little girl fills my heart like no other. I can't wait to see him develop in his role as a father and I know for certain S is in for a lifetime of love and being cherished.
But, I'll be the first to admit I am absolutely terrified. I feel so under qualified to be a mom and I am sure a lot of moms felt the same way with their first. I want to make sure she always feels loved, important, and safe. Parenting doesn't just stop at taking care of their basic needs, but for when she goes off to school and faces her first bully, will I be able to guide her correctly? For when she falls and hurts herself, will I be able to be strong enough for the both of us and help her? For when she experiences her first heartbreak, will she come to me and seek comfort and guidance?
As a mother, I already feel so protective of her and just want to protect her from the world and all the negative things in it. But, also as her mother I hope that I can raise her to be able to protect herself and steer away from the apostate.
These last 10 days before her due date are going to be a true test of patience, but also allow me to prepare some more. I have had a feeling she will come early, but at this point I am fully assuming she is just going to stay in here forever. I've experienced more intense contractions, but nothing consistent or strong enough that made me feel like this was it. I am scared for labor but just thinking about the aftermath eases my nerves and I am just so ready to hold our baby girl.
Thank you all for joining me on my journey to motherhood. I know many blessings are to come and I can't wait to share the next chapter with you all! I have nested, rested, and I am ready to bring this new life into the world. I am ready to take on motherhood because I know I have an amazing community of both family & friends who I can turn to for guidance.
I am sure some of you might be growing tiresome of me talking about this little one, but honestly when you have waited for something for so long, it's so hard not to talk about it! Our life lately has been pretty monotonous, with us both working full time I have been struggling with still putting my heart and soul into this blog! I love blogging more than anything and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon, I just need to figure out how to balance my time better!
J is still enjoying his job and has been flying a lot after work. I work from home for an online college so that takes up the majority of my day, and I am also working to finish my Pharmacy Technician program! We are staying pretty busy and cherish every moment we get together.
I am so so excited to begin the nursery process! We probably won't get a crib for awhile because I plan on having a co sleeper in our room. But, I'm excited to start the closet, set up the changing table and dresser, and add in the cute little details that will make the room more of the baby's. I have always had the theme picked out if it was a boy, and J came up with the cutest idea for a girl, so I am just ready to know what we are doing and get to it!
While we do know the gender, we are waiting until this next appointment to announce because I have a fear of it changing on us! There have been a lot of mom's reporting that it changes or they got it wrong, and I don't want that to happen so we are waiting to have it confirmed by the doctor.
I am now 15 weeks (16 weeks tomorrow!) and have filmed a pregnancy update. I also have a maternity clothing haul filmed, but I'm debating on if I want my lookbook to go up first or not.
Those of us who struggled to get pregnant, know the overwhelming disappointment of a negative test. You over evaluate every little potential “symptom” and think: this is it. This will be the month I get pregnant.
Then it doesn’t happen. Your monthly cycle shows up, or even worse you test and you know the answer before it comes and the three minutes are up. (This happened twice to me, not kidding) Seeing only one line on a test seems like the silliest thing to cry over, but in that moment it feels like you lost something. Like this was supposed to be the month, and that chance is gone now.
After trying for about 10 months, I decided I was no longer going to test, track my days, or put any excess energy into it. I was trying to feel content with life being just me and my husband and focusing on buying a home. We had also finally planned our belated honeymoon for our 2 year anniversary, and were getting so excited for it! It was the week before Christmas and I started getting my usual period symptoms, so I prepared for it to come in the next few days as usual. When it never came, and I had a week of those symptoms, I tried to push any glimmer of hope out of my mind. I didn’t want to have that feeling again, especially with Christmas coming up so soon.
We enjoyed our Christmas weekend and that following Monday my family came up to celebrate with us. That Monday morning, something in me just had the urge to take the dang test. I slipped out of the bed quietly, unwrapped a test as quietly as I could as to not wake up J, and took it.
I set it down on the counter and before it even left my hand, I saw a line immediately as the dye ran across. My first thought was it was the test line, but the test key shows the test line as the second. I just stood there in utter shock as tears filled my eyes.
J and I had always planned to test together, I wasn’t in to the whole idea of doing it alone and surprising him after, but honestly I was just expecting the usual negative result. I finished up in the bathroom and walked to the bed and said his name and woke him up. I was standing there shaking, test in one hand, and he probably thought I was a crazy woman! I showed him and started tearing up even more and you know what his response was? “About time”.
That’s exactly how I felt too, but of course decorated with more gushy, emotional words per usual. I got back in bed and cuddled up with him, just beaming that it had finally happened: our prayers had been answered, this was the day we prayed for. I am still in shock that we are having a baby, and I don’t think it really sunk in until I saw our baby on the ultrasound screen. The nurse put the wand on my belly and immediately on the screen, we saw our baby for the first time. She played its little heartbeat (a fast 175), and I could not believe my ears. I am finally carrying another life, something that seemed like such a distant hopeful dream at one point, was now a reality. I was pretty composed seeing the baby, just in utter awe that we made that. Then, the baby started moving around and moving all of its limbs and that’s when I snapped back to reality and teared up.
For those still waiting for that day, my heart goes out to you. While we tried for a year, J pointed out that we shouldn’t look at it that way. It happened exactly when it was supposed to. The day we prayed for couldn’t have been as perfect if it happened any other day. I feel like I have appreciated this pregnancy so much more than I would if we got pregnant as soon as we started trying. It made me appreciate my time with J, focus on improving myself, and getting the most out of life.
I hope to change the direction of our blog a little bit, because as you know, this is The Strattons. I created this blog to document our lives together, and now our family is growing by one more! I will actively be sharing this pregnancy journey, doing week updates when major things are changing, and I just sharing the overall joy of motherhood that I so heavily prayed for.
Two years ago my forever began and we started on our journey together. We were just two people who fell in love, and now here we are celebrating our two year anniversary and I am so humbled by our journey.
Three years ago, I fell head over heels for a soldier who I thought was way out of my league. He was leaving for a deployment, and I was left wondering if that was a once in a lifetime love or if I would get to see him again.
Thank goodness it was the latter. Our relationship began with much heartache with long distance and soon after we took on the roles of husband and wife. I could not imagine a future without him in it, and luckily he felt the same.
We shared our vows and then started school two days later.
We then formed into broke college students, eating frozen dinners and ramen, and doing our math homework together... And let's not forget learning how to live with another person who doesn't know how you function and what your quirks are.
Then, we got the great opportunity to move to Colorado and I became a stay at home wife while he went to work. We got our puppy before the move and that was our life! About halfway through the year, we got word of another deployment, so I went home to Texas instead of being up here alone. Our homecoming reunion was so special and sweet and I'm so happy he's back home.
Fast forward to a year after that and we finally bought our first home together. We are know settled in our forever home and have grown so close over these few years of marriage together.
My honey is home and I never got around to sharing our homecoming photos! During J's deployment homecoming, it was literally just us and I drove to go see him. I wore a tank top and shorts and it was extremely casual and intimate.
This time around, I wanted to make it more special! I found an adorable outfit and my mom made me a super cute sign to welcome him with. He deserves so much and I am glad we finally got a bigger homecoming for him! I am so blessed to have him back, I know military spouses understand this heartbreak like no other when our men are away. To see him again, just felt like a breath of relief and my everything was finally standing in front of me again- and that feeling is indescribable.
Going through any length of separation can be hard on any couple. Whether you are going through separation because of Basic training, AIT, TDY, or deployment, I understand what you are going through! It is so hard being apart, but know it isn't impossible. Try and make time fly the best you can (I'll link helpful posts down below!) and remember why you are doing this.
You are going through this distance because your other half is creating your future together and establishing his career. You are spending nights alone so he can defend our country and learn how to protect and grow in his designated career path. You are experiencing those dropped skype calls and weeks without hearing from them, which makes you appreciate the sweet sound of their voice so much more. If you are younger and still living at home, of course miss him, but use this time to love and appreciate time with your family, as you will most likely be moving away from them shortly and starting your own life. Trust me, there are many obstacles when distance comes into play, but stay strong and be supportive during the duration. Best of luck to you and your military significant other. The longer the wait, the sweeter the kiss.
Thank you for stopping by The Strattons Blog! Here are snippets of my life, motherhood, and the military!